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8:12am 09-19-2020

Darlene Jubert

Location (State or Country)

New York (NY)

One word: Amazing! I have had one out of body experience which moved me beyond the fear of not knowing what comes next beyond this body, this "reality." My Awareness of what is, as it is in this current moment and any subsequent moment, will persist. It is infinite and eternal in its own right outside of my physical existence. The Infinite I analogy lends to this understanding and takes it well beyond any limitations we may attempt to conceive of in order to debunk or challenge the possibility of its existence. It is my interpretation it exemplifies the same unlimited presence as the field from which it resides within and creates from, where all possibilities exist. Loving this tremendously! It has taken me full circle to that place and time of innocence, yet now I return with some knowing. What an amazing ride!

1:08pm 09-06-2020

Tom Pavlik

Location (State or Country)

Washington

In a youtube presentation Nisargadatta says "without me, there is not God". So if Nis knew about Stephen's model its likely that he'd similarly say "without me, there is no infinite I".

A softer way of saying it might be "without me, there is no God of my own design". Also there is no universe without me (or said another way, there is no universe projected through me without me.)

I have personal experience in adopting Stephen's model and in my life it is unsurpassed in in terms of taming ego and dissolving the veil that obscures the illusion of this place. Sometimes I will say "my Infinite I" but I say that in the same way I use the word God (three little letters that supposedly capture all of the unknowable Tao). For me "Infinite I" is a convenience in speaking with Stephen and others so that I don't have to spend twenty minutes dancing around ideas about belief.

If the Holographic Universe series and Butterflies are Free to Fly (and Stephen's other work) prove anything it is that Stephen is delighted with scientific inquiry and speculation and speculation about the unknown. So then why not speculate about the Infinite I, and what this might do under such and such circumstances? It is fun.

Additionally, in my opinion Stephen's concepts and Nisargadatta's converge nicely
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjoGzmwUn8U&list=PLlcI6ilhIXjKf4BhVDgpwjLTgkY5OInTY&index=1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDvzDrwXxkA&list=PLlcI6ilhIXjKf4BhVDgpwjLTgkY5OInTY&index=27&t=0s

4:17am 09-06-2020

Nari

Location (State or Country)

IRAN

Dear Stephen,
Thank you so much for your wonderful book which I have read many times, and each time a new question comes to my mind.
My new question is:
What is going to happen to my "INFINITE I " after I die?
Thank you

Replied on: 11:56am 09-06-2020

Dear Nari,

Just to be totally clear, the concept of the Infinite I is something I came up with because "consciousness" and "higher power" didn't work for me. But since the Infinite I is outside our hologram, we have no way of knowing for sure what it is or how it works. My first "guess" is that the Infinite I is infinite and therefore eternal, so IT would never "die." My next guess would be that it would have lots of choices when I die, like creating another Player, taking a break for a while, or even deciding it was finished with the Human Game. But we'll never know for sure.

5:11pm 09-02-2020

Randall Scott

Location (State or Country)

California

Today is the very best day; I concur.

Trying, and failing to follow one's inner excitement is part of the first half of the human game as I recall; when one perceives what's happening to them as they follow the first half rules, which we now know leads to limitations.

When I first stumbled upon Stephen's book quite some years ago now, I already knew deep down inside I was done with the first half. Prior, there was a bike crash that left me partially incapacitated. Shortly thereafter, fired from a job I despised; followed then by heat-stroke during my recovery; then a three-month-long lung cancer screening that turned out negative. All occurring from June through December. By then, however, I'd already done significant damage to every relationship I once held near and dear. The following year I came across Stephens's book while watching random science videos on YouTube. Shortly thereafter I took my last job interview thinking, at the time, I needed to get back on that damn horse. But the interest just wasn't there and I eventually turned down their offer and decided to peel the onion instead, not really knowing then what I'd gotten myself into.

I digress:
This morning, shortly after reading and, partially contemplating Tom’s most recent comment below, I stood up from my recliner chair with a cup of coffee in one hand and my Android tablet in the other, moved to the bar stool counter behind me and instead of placing the coffee cup gently onto the countertop next to the tablet as unconsciously planned the entire cup of hot coffee spilled (visualize scene.)

It has been a very, very long time since I've felt something like anger or rage, or have even felt upset; it makes me wonder if I'm still capable of such perception that I would see things happening wrongly.

For a brief moment though I just stood there, watching, silently, at the liquid dripping over the edge of the counter and onto the wood flooring my wife and I decided to install throughout the entire first floor of the house ten years ago. I used to be disturbingly paranoid when it came to water getting on the floor. Needless to say that during my cocoon phase we had several incidents with water damage so I could run autolysis on those fears. One incident included a new toilet that had to be reinstalled three times, each time damaging the floor. Three times, until I finally surrendered. Each time "fully aware" it wasn't about a toilet leaking and damaging the flooring.

Obstacles, rants, tantrums, all byproducts of some belief. Becoming a butterfly is what resolves the issue. Peel the onion!

3:48pm 09-02-2020

Tom Pavlik

Location (State or Country)

Washington

Here's a bit more about this ranting and raving I introduced below...

I don't see biting insects or having to sleep, unprepared, on a cold alpine tundra as being in any way flawed. These things can be incredibly difficult. But I don't rant and rave or sulk and become despondent in those situations (signals that I see a wrongness at play). Instead, when the going gets tough I recognize the resources that are available and make use of what is provided.

But I don't seem to be recognizing what is provided when I'm in the work environment (and in some other areas). For example in the work environment, with everyone working toward a common goal, I recently saw its self as a bottleneck toward achieving that goal and doing anything about it seemed impossible.

These people I work with are very like a family to me now. I am with them all day every day, and then also outside of work we are together for activities. I can scarcely stand to think of producing the appearance of disappointment among these actors and can't find a way to break my self away from futurizing about the script that ego is predicting will play out. There is every appearance of tight deadlines, a clock ticking and great urgency. Ego predicts disappointed faces on the faces of these friends. I bite on this bait like an eager fish biting a worm on a sharp hook.

After that hook is swallowed all reason is abandoned. It is a time of ego panicking because it is threatened. I am now seeing that all through that panic that help is being offered but I am so embroiled in the egoic struggle that I can scarcely detect it. For example yesterday a coworker offered a helpful hint that ended up being the solution to my dilemma but his was like the voice of a mouse drowned out by the egoic fray. It was an hour before he and I sat down and he was able to help me through it.

Remaining still and silent and watching for the help seems like the path. I think that is the thread which must be pulled but it requires patience (not my strong suit).

I'm planning to watch the video Randall posted this evening. Its interesting that his post seems to be a response to my last post, even though his was posted first.

9:04pm 09-01-2020

Tom Pavlik

Location (State or Country)

Washington

Following one's inner excitement is not a simple thing.

I've experienced things that have left me questioning the idea of following inner excitement. Recently one of the dogs (Luna) and I hiked 7.5 miles into a very remote wilderness at high elevation to a lake with the idea that of camping and fishing. The preparations took weeks and included acquiring new gear (a backpack, tent, sleeping bag, etc.) orienteering preparations, food, fitting a pack for Luna, calling the ranger station for permits and other activities.

After a long and treacherous journey in a 4X4 and then hiking through alpine meadows and forests we arrived at the lake and were greeted by the most ferocious storm of biting insects that I've ever encountered. We spent the entire time battling them and were inside the small tent together for many hours just to stay away from them.

Two weeks earlier I'd hiked into that same lake and barely made it back to the trailhead. I hadn't realized that I'd hiked mostly downhill on the way in and hadn't brought camping gear so I had to make the hike all the way out for a total of 15 miles (7.5 miles uphill on the way out). I truly thought I was going to have to spend the night in that alpine wilderness unprepared for the cold night to come.

I'm balancing the idea of following my inner excitement with paddling with the dominant current. But one is bound to paddle into the unexpected. It is akin to getting stranded on a reef by a tide, or being stuck in a muddy swamp barely able to move (both of which I've experienced for "reals"). For example; I am daily working with a very complex software with which I'm trying to produce a specific result and which won't do what I'm expecting. I go through hours of tedium trying to resolve the issues over and over again. At those times I'm trying to use all my tools but often end up ranting and raving and fussing and cussing.

Do any of you other folks or non folks, I-s or non I-s, selfs, no selfs, butterflies, cocoon dwellers, etc. rant and rave when faced with such obstacles?

One thing I'm pretty certain of is that software issues aren't resolved in the second half of the game.

9:43pm 08-31-2020

Randall Scott

Location (State or Country)

California

The second half of the human game is the opposite of the first.

Netflix
High Score / season 1: episode 6 "Level Up"

https://www.google.com/search?q=netflix+high+score+season+1+episode+6&oq=netflix+high+score+season+1+episode+6&aqs=chrome..69i57j33l2.28360j0j8&client=tablet-android-verizon&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

1:14pm 08-31-2020

Stephen

Location (State or Country)

North Carolina

In light of what's going on in the world, I want to post here a recent letter from Jed McKenna in its entirety, even though it's a little long....

The Crucible: An Open Letter from Jed McKenna
Please feel free to share, repost and reprint this article.
Find it online here: https://www.wisefoolpress.com/free/crucible/

Dear Imagined Reader,

A recent email from one of my human-interface facilitators ended on this note: “P.S. You’re getting a lot of questions about current events.”

To which I now reply that current events are, in the context of awakening in or from the dreamstate, completely irrelevant, and the most important thing you can do is not get caught up in them. Waking up is all about focus. If you start descending into petty drama – and all drama is petty – then you will lose coherence and your journey will stall.

Maintaining a steady mind through pleasure and pain,
gain and loss, victory and defeat, engage in this battle,
indifferent to the outcome. Thus you will incur no sin.

Bhagavad Gita, 2:38

The only sin is ignorance and the only absolution is clear-seeing. The real battle of awakening is between your heart, which tells you the world is real and meaningful, and your mind, which tells you the world is of no more substance than a soap opera reflected on a soap bubble.

We might think that extinction-level events – pandemics, riots, nukes, asteroids, zombies, twerking – are more than mere drama, but they never are because the world is never more than mere theater and we are never more than mere characters; it’s only your emotional infusion that brings it to life.

Willfully unsuspend your disbelief, bring your critical-reasoning faculties back online, and you’ll view even the most dire world events like you might now view an episode of SquareBob SpongePants. This is not a matter of concept or theory or belief, but of clear-seeing from an elevated vantage. The only thing you can change is your perspective, and it starts with opening your eyes.

This might be a good time to unsubscribe from sunshine spirituality. If you take refuge in the notion of a higher-self and spiritual evolution, then you might believe you’re living in crazy times because you chose it at the soul level; that there are lessons for you to learn or opportunities for spiritual growth or karmic ribbons to be burned. Such beliefs might help you get through the night, but not to wake up.

Truth isn’t only true when it fits our narrative, it’s true in foxhole and burn ward, at deathbed and graveside. From today's headlines: "Children Tortured, Raped and Buried Alive." Providence may have spared you from the darkside of this amusement park, but as history and headlines show, it only takes a second to switch from It’s a Wonderful Life to Apocalypse Now. Every day is anything-can-happen day. Like it or not, them's the rules.

Countless billions of seekers – more sincere, courageous and intelligent than myself – have failed to become finders, not because truth is so well hidden but because they were looking in the wrong place. That which you seek is not spiritual, it’s developmental, and it’s not found through growth but transition.

To quote myself:

The truth is that enlightenment is neither remote nor unattainable. It is closer than your skin and more immediate than your next breath. If we wonder why so few seem able to find that which can never be lost, we might recall the child who was looking in the light for a coin he dropped in the dark because “the light is better over here.”
In truth, you are a point of infinite, featureless awareness which, through the magic of emotional alchemy, has become attached to the world of appearance, but despite what they promise in the spiritual marketplace, you can't have your cake and eat it too. You can never be awake while your eyes are still closed. You can never become an adult while remaining fear-based, half-born and herdbound. You are either asleep or awake in the dreamstate, you can’t be both.

If you have a conceptual grasp of nonduality, then you have the power to disprove apparent reality for yourself, but you have not fully processed this nuclear insight and examined its aftermath. Not-two is the thought that destroys the universe, so if you still find yourself living in a soap opera bubble, it means you have yet to unleash this weapon.

My universal advice under any circumstances is to get real, snap out of it, wake up. Open your eyes and see who and what and where you really are. That’s what I think everyone really wants – to complete their development and discover their potential – and here you are reading this, which suggests that’s what you want. Maybe this is your chance to make something happen. Maybe alarming events can trigger awakening in the same way a blinking light can trigger lucidity in our nighttime dreams. Maybe the wackier the world gets, the easier it will be to detach from it. Maybe the more nightmarish it becomes, the stronger the urge to awaken will become.

We’re obviously in a wonky period now and it might be awhile before things stabilize again. Whether or not you and I live to see equilibrium restored is, like everything in the dreamstate, immaterial. And seriously, who goes to a movie to watch happy people anyway? Who goes to an amusement park to sit on a bench? You pay your nickel and ride the ride, but whatever ups-and-downs and thrills-and-chills occur along the way, you get off right where you got on. Anyone who believes that Armageddon is more meaningful than the popping of a zit has yet to carve memento mori on their heart: Remember your death.

Or, on the flipside: Remember that every day is the best day.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Yours, &c.

7:53am 08-30-2020

Christine

Location (State or Country)

North Carolina

To Randall,

You could read all of this between the lines? I wasn't aware that I am solidifying my false self, keeping it alive at any cost. I see it now. I will jump, but I don't know how. It will show up. I am really excited. That was very helpful. Thank you.

11:18am 08-29-2020

Randall Scott

Location (State or Country)

California

Continuing with my excitement tugging at this lose thread it appears Christine might be asking for some assistance with:

Becoming a butterfly was not the central focus of my desire during that time. Finding out who I truly am was the burning desire curiosity fueled. So I can see where getting caught up trying to improve upon one's false-self would result in further ambiguity and the need for more labeling and identity metrics. Which would make relying on spiritual autolysis for momentum feel like yet another battleship anchor dragging along the ocean floor? I too had those feelings once upon a time. Then one day I decided to jump overboard as a reaction to an experience created for me and into the murky waters below —following the anchor chain down to see if it could be dislodged.

In the spirit of "Jed" let me say that "one cannot do spiritual autolysis wrong but it certainly can be done incorrectly" by judging it too.

Running the process and spiritual autolysis is always going to reveal some apparent form of untruth. Whether one is ready to accept that in the present moment isn't an indication of progress since, in the mind, the first half of the human game rules are still very much in play, as a player tries to interpret what's happening to them because they're still trying to influence and control outcomes. Think of Spiritual Autolysis as a simple and easy to understand and apply tool you've always owned, not as an idea about things in you as they should be.

Hope that helps!

9:40am 08-29-2020

Christine

Location (State or Country)

North Carolina

Hi Stephen,

I guess writing my previous post was sort of Spiritual Autolysis for me. Afterwards I could clearly see that I had a LOT of beliefs. And just by noticing them they dropped off. I remember you saying that after a while you will be able to do Spiritual Autolysis within seconds.

I am a lot lighter now and laugh a lot, soaring higher for sure. It no longer feels like a slow process. Am I a butterfly yet? We’ll see. “Sink a battleship using a butter knife”, I love that visual. Thanks to both of you Stephen and Randall for responding.

Replied on: 10:45am 08-29-2020

Dear Christine,

Thanks for the update, and well done!

6:26pm 08-28-2020

Randall Scott

Location (State or Country)

California

The depressive thought - “what the hell am I even doing here” is part of the dark night of the soul as I recall. I thought that thought a lot for about two years, probably two years in, which makes that year four start to finish; or it could have been four years in, then came my dark night, I know it is different for everyone; yet all the while just kept peeling my way down rabbit hole after rabbit hole, kept running spiritual autolysis, kept letting the fear in, stopped trying to make things better, and kept seeing how my judgments melted away. That was a slow process for sure. It felt as if it took every ounce of energy. Then one day something changed. That thought, along with so many others, just stopped, and I stopped feeling depressed altogether. My best guess would be that this all got started back in 2008. Dark Night of the Soul around 2012. I used to try and look back to remember dates and sequences of how this all went down but it’s all become so faded and vague to me now. From 2015 to 2020 is an absolute blur. But so much happened during that time in terms of peeling and distillation that it feels as if I was somehow able to sink a battleship using a butter knife.

Replied on: 7:55pm 08-28-2020

Dear Randall,

Thank you VERY much for giving us your perspective, which I hope Christine will take to heart, although it is applicable to all of us. Sometimes I can forget how difficult it was for me and could be for others. I think the key is "the only way out is the way through." (Virgil, Shakespeare and Robert Frost all said that, I believe, and L. Ron Hubbard "borrowed" it as well.)

3:29pm 08-28-2020

Christine

Location (State or Country)

North Carolina

Hi Stephen,
Turning into a butterfly, isn't that another false hope. As long as I felt there was a reward, being a butterfly, I was happily moving toward it, and it kept me in denial of many things. I have no problem that there is no out there out there. But everything seemingly evolves around 'out there'. I had an episode yesterday where I lost my memory for several hours. During that time I emailed and messaged a friend, conversed with her, of which I have no recollection. I told her I had a stroke. She contacted my kids. When my memory returned it felt as if I had gone through a shift. Today everything seems normal. A few months ago I was looking around the house and saw that everything I see in the physical is the past. I have no problem with that. But lately I have been thinking, what the hell am I even doing here. This isn't getting anywhere except deeper down the rabbit hole. I have gone down that hole for 23 years and this is where I ended up, living alone in a 7' x 10' cabin in the woods, leaving once a week for less than an hour to buy groceries. I have no desire for 'out there', since it doesn't exist anyway. My kids are worried. I have no desire to connect with anyone and anything, and no desire to do more spiritual autolysis. Curiosity keeps me going. I am ditching all the scouts. I have to find out for myself. If I follow anyone at all I will walk in circles. Every person is a nail in my coffin. I live very slowly, mimicking certain creatures more than humans. They sit still, unmovable, blending in, not wasting their energy on frivolous movements, it could be their death. I am in a hurry. I am pissed. This is such a slow process.

Replied on: 5:20pm 08-28-2020

Dear Christine,

I can see a LOT of beliefs in this email which you have apparently not addressed with The Process and Spiritual Autolysis. You say you do not want to do more spiritual autolysis. That, of course, is your choice. And you are making a good decision to "ditch all the scouts and find out for myself." I tell you in my book to kill me ("Kill the Buddha") at any time, and now it looks like your time to do it.

I will give you one warning, however. You say "I am in a hurry. I am pissed. This is such a slow process." If you do not process those beliefs and do Spiritual Autolysis on that judgment, you will make things much more difficult from now on. Imagine a caterpillar who decides not to continue the transformation into a butterfly once it's started.

I told you in the very beginning of my book that "If you keep reading, there will come a point where there’s no turning back. In a way, switching metaphors, it will be like climbing Mt. Everest. The journey can be very difficult, physically and emotionally; and it takes a while." It sounds like you have long since passed the point of no return. YOU made the choice to begin the transformation, so be very careful what steps you take next.

1:56pm 08-22-2020

Randall Scott

Location (State or Country)

California

Denial of fear is the motivation underlying all activities in which humans engage, this is vanity in the biblical sense.
—Jed McKenna

Denial of fear; denial of fear; denial of fear..........

Replied on: 4:32pm 08-22-2020

Dear Randall,

This quote triggered my favorite issue - the fear of non-existence after we die, and what lengths we have gone as Players to try to deny it through various religions. And yes, the (incorrect) belief that there is an afterlife is based on pure vanity. Thanks for the quote.

10:41am 08-20-2020

Tom Pavlik

Location (State or Country)

Washington

What you are saying is a principal lesson in the work you have produced and I have also found it to be true. It is amazing how many chances I have been given to say yes to slight variations on the same theme.

For example; Recently I've finally said "yes" to the idea of making a place my home. This is in contrast to a lifetime of thinking that I needed to "protect myself" by not getting too comfortable (in case something went "wrong" and by "trying" to increase the value of a house so that I could sell it so that I wouldn't "get hurt".

But the houses came and went and in some cases there was the appearance of a big win and in others the appearance of a big loss. But none of these had anything to do with anything I did. Nothing was caused or prevented by me. The outcome of each seeming win and loss came through an unpredictable path (nothing after all is predictable). So after being given the numerous chances you mention (and which are a principal topic of your Butterflies work); I've let go of these notions of control and of egoic ideas of cause and effect.

Although I don't think it's that important whether things go any particular way, your work has helped me understand how limiting saying no is. Yes, it is also my experience that I have been given multiple chances. In my life these chances have been peppered over sometimes decades. But these days I'm more interested in operating under the idea that saying yes early is much more exciting.

So that is why I have used the metaphor of a theoretical Infinite I "betting it all" in a exciting game of chance. This I is no spring chicken and so it seems like it might be the time to steepen the acceptance curve and to blow on the Infinite I's dice as we ride a rollercoaster together.

So its yes to traffic tickets and drained finances, illness, war, plastic in the oceans, bombings, lootings and viruses. Because if I've learned one thing it is that the I squared will produce the most delightful of outcomes from the most unlikely seeming building blocks. This is the meaning of the Lotus Sutra, in which the most beautiful of flowers arises from thick putrifying sludge.

Replied on: 1:14pm 08-20-2020

Right on, Tom.

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